The side effects of antidepressants robbed me of everything that made me unique as an individual. I merely subsisted from day-to-day trying to cope with what the drugs were doing to me. I was overwhelmed by high anxiety and lived in a dark hole of suicidal depression.
I tried to get better, reading self-help books and seeing therapists, but it was a losing battle. I was powerless against the chemicals that were invading my brain.
Effexor xr (venlafaxine) caused the worst side effects of any of the SSRIs I had taken over the years. My brain and body were attacked by ALL of these debilitating mental and physical side effects (mayoclinic.org and webmd.com):
Antidepressants’ Mental Side Effects
- Cognitive decline
- Anxiety
- Panic attacks
- Lack of concentration
- Confused/overwhelmed
- Heightened startle response
- Irritability/anger/agitation/rage
- Suicidal thoughts
- Horrific dreams
Antidepressants’ Physical Side Effects
- Fatigue
- Trouble sleeping
- Drowsiness
- Headache
- Dry mouth
- Gagging
- Hyperventilating
- Sweating, flushing
- Body tic/jolt/shudder
- Insomnia
- Blurry vision
- Weight gain
- Dizziness
- Tinnitus/head buzzing
- Muscle aches
- Poor coordination
- Decreased sex drive
My Life on Antidepressants
Before antidepressants took over my mind and body, my life was full. I was a marketing executive living in a beautiful apartment in Boston’s Back Bay when a home invasion in 1985 prompted my doctors to prescribe antidepressants for PTSD.
On antidepressants I couldn’t function and turned into a recluse. Over-the-top anxiety and depression defined my days. My life turned into a series of life-changing catastrophes: I had to close my public relations agency, declare bankruptcy and move into Section 8 subsidized housing, where I live today.
The most devastating blow came in 2012, when I was declared totally disabled. As I walked out of the courtroom with my new label, I thought, “How could this be happening?”
There had to be a way out of this hell I was living in, so I decided to come off antidepressants. When I told my doctor I wanted to quit, she offered a dire warning: “If you come off the antidepressants, there’s a good chance you’ll relapse.” Relapse into what? I had no life, so what did I have to lose? In March, 2015, I started to taper off antidepressants.
How NOT to Quit Antidepressants
Over the years, a couple of doctors took me off antidepressants cold turkey with disastrous results. Other doctors put me on a taper schedule that was too abrupt: too large a milligram decrease over too short a time.
I was doomed to fail. As the discontinuation symptoms set in, my doctors would either increase the dose of the antidepressant I was on or switch me to another one.
When I finally decided to taper off antidepressants, my newly-minted psychiatrist reduced my dose by half in just three weeks, which precipitated a psychotic episode. I had to call the EMTs. After a few months on a more gradual decrease, I was finally free of antidepressants.
Now I know that the only way to get off antidepressants is by following a long, slow taper. Each taper should be the least possible milligram decrease and should be maintained for at least a month.
Getting My Brain Back
When I stopped taking antidepressants, I slowly started to get my brain back. Now, after three years free of them, all the side effects I had endured for 30 years are gone.
Just weeks after I was completely off the SSRI, the pervasive, desperate depression I had lived with for so long simply vanished. It was as if a window shade in my mind had been raised all the way to the top for the first time in years.
As the months passed, my brain continued to reset itself. Gradually, things started to make sense again. I could finally understand what people were saying to me. I could carry on a conversation without having a “brain hitch.” As the overload of serotonin began to dissipate, I realized I wasn’t stuck anymore – I was getting better every day.
The physical effects of stopping antidepressants were astounding: the headaches went away, my blurry vision cleared up, I dropped 40 pounds and my cholesterol, which had been dangerously high, dropped 60 points to a safe level.
Most importantly, I had my brain back – I could think again. If you have a similar story, I’d like to hear from you.
Jane’s story has been featured in the media:
Read more about my battle with antidepressants on the MAD in AMERICA website posted March 31, 2019
Bangor Daily News: How a Maine woman reclaimed her life after 30 years of drug therapy